A compliment is verbal sunshine, it can instantly brighten your day. They cost nothing to give or receive. Have you ever been out and had someone graciously praise something about you? Maybe it was the shirt you were wearing, the scent of your perfume or how you've styled your hair? Maybe you were the one who flattered another with your kind words. We all love them and someone of us can't help but say something to the very attractive person sitting just over there. When it comes to compliments, are they all they're cracked up to be?
Giving an honest and heartfelt compliment can completely change a person's day. If you've ever gotten one, I'm sure you can agree. It may not always be about your appearance, it can be about something you've done or are doing. It brings a smile to our face, and for me, a blush to the cheeks. A genuine compliment is meant to serve as a sort of admiration for something or someone. It exalts a feeling of approval and serves as bit of an esteem boost. I am sure there are very few that do not like being given a compliment, but I can't think of anyone. A true compliment, however, is not a form of flattery. Flattery is nothing more than false praise that provides the giver a sense of self gratification. They are merely "buttering you up" with a certain ulterior motive that with act a benefit for themselves. Simply put, they are kissing your ass. Their approbation is for themselves and, thus, hollow of any authenticity. Giving a compliment is one of the best things you can do for someone, so long as it is sincere. Who wouldn't enjoy telling someone they admire just how much you enjoyed a certain aspect of them? For me, dispensing a compliment where it is truly deserved makes my day. Seeing how happy it makes them, makes me happy, too. I'm also not too proud to tell someone just how awesome they are. I'll leave you with words we should all live by: "Here is my wish for you and every other child, woman, and man on the face of the earth: Spend one week saying only kind, caring things to yourself. Say thank you at least ten times an hour, direct five toward yourself and five to the world at large. Compliment yourself (and others) each time an effort is made. Notice all the wonderful qualities and characteristics about yourself and those around you. One week. You will never go back. And your whole life will be a glorious meditation." ~ A.S. | Compliments seem a bit harder to come by than mere flattery. A true compliment goes deeper than just the surface because it shows an honest appreciation. The flattering approach, to me, seems to draw attention to the one giving it. I would rather rarely receive a compliment than consistently receive flattery. Not for nothing, but spare me the sparkles. Having said that, I would say I'm guilty of refraining from giving a compliment because I didn't want it to be mistaken for flattery. It's difficult when you don't "know" the individual, yet you feel compelled to pay them a compliment. I think you should give credit where it's due, when it's due. They say 'Timing is everything.' and I agree. It bothers me a bit when a 'compliment' is given about the way someone looks as opposed to, say, the way that they had handled a situation that had been observed. Because there's always more to a person than what you see. I believe that if you want to know the character of an individual, it's more about what they do when they think nobody is watching than what they put out there. Then, if you still feel the need to share a compliment, do so. In the event you don't like what you discover, I suggest you keep it to yourself. It's like leaving a party you no longer want to be attending. I have yet to know of a scenario where someone gains true respect from announcing their departure. It's better to quietly and gracefully see yourself out and not make such a big fuss. Perhaps we should all take a moment to look over those closest to us and evaluate when was the last time we gave them a compliment. Too long, I'm sure. In the event you have received one, accept it graciously, and reciprocate if it is deserving. Then, move on knowing that you are respected by that person, and now they know they are respected by you. So long as the compliment is genuine, I endorse paying them forward. -Y.S. |